I overheard two people talking about their goals, each with two seemingly opposite points of view.
One said, “What if I fail?”
The other said, “What if I’m too successful and I can’t handle it?”
While one person is talking about failure, and one person is talking about overwhelming success, each is in the same place of resistance. Both of these beliefs is in opposition to being in a state of allowance for the goal. The individuals are focused on unknown results instead of focusing on their goals.
What is Mental Resistance?
Resistance could be a physical state, but it could also be a mental, emotional or energetic state. I’m addressing the latter.
Mental resistance can be show up in several ways. The key here is creating a mindset that is clear from blocks. This often happens when we make excuses such as, “what if I fail?”
The problem with mental resistance is that you’re allowing your thoughts to distract you from the present moment. A negative focus can then distort your belief in the vision, which can lead to mental blocks in the space that you need to do your best work in that moment. In other words, you’re not allowing your belief to flow.
When Bruce Lee said, “Be like water…” he wasn’t done speaking. Most people quote that and nothing else. He went on to talk about the importance of being flexible rather than rigid in his approach.
This is the rest of what he said:
“…making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
When I coach athletes, whether they are actively playing or retired, this one of the areas that we look at. We talk about hidden self-talk, reframing negative thought habits, choosing an optimal perspective, and tools like mindfulness to learn to adopt a state of flow.
Examples of mental resistance include:
- Fear of failure or being wrong
- Fear of not being able to handle success
- Impatience with the timing of the goal
- Worrying about what others might think
- Fearing change and/or growth
- Fear of making the wrong decisions
- Not feeling motivated (e.g., making excuses why you’re not doing the work)
How to overcome a resistance mindset:
- Become aware. Take the time to notice your thoughts each morning or when you feel doubt setting in. Write down any that are not positively aligned with your goal.
- Remind yourself of your why. Why are you going after this goal in the first place? What’s your emotional connection to the benefit of reaching that goal?
- Change your self-talk. Write down positive thoughts. For example, instead of “I’m afraid I’ll fail,” you might say something like, “I know this is the right step for me at this time” or “I believe in myself” or “I trust myself.”
- Focus on the moment. If you’re thinking about the past or the future, you’re not in the present, which is where the magic of the journey exists for you right now.
- Choose your actions with purpose and consistency. Be clear on what you need to do to get to your goal, and then break that down with what needs to be done each day. Make the steps simple, but commit to being consistent in taking them. If you want to procrastinate or not take the action step at all, go back to the top of this list and become aware of your thoughts and feelings around your excuses. Then, focus on your why and change your self-talk.
Keys to the game:
- Don’t allow your thoughts to take you out of the game before you play. It’s not about what will or won’t happen, it’s about doing what you have to do in the moment.
- Train your brain with a mindfulness and meditation practice, which will allow you to become aware of these thoughts and then let them go.
- If the story or narrative that you’ve been telling yourself isn’t helping you reach your goals or enjoy day-to-day life, adopt a new perspective that is empowering. How can you look at this situation differently? What would you tell a friend if they were in the same position?
Need someone to help you overcome mental resistance? Join a one-on-one VIP coaching program with me so I can develop the trust, confidence, permission, and resiliency to overcome conflict and enjoy inner peace.