I have spoken to many athletes over the years who have confided in me that they are sensitive or emotional people. However, somewhere during their time growing up (and, usually many times over), they were taught that this sensitivity is a bad thing, which eventually created great conflict in their lives.

Growing up I was that sensitive kid who was always in her feelings and was often made fun of for that. I interpreted this as meaning that there was something wrong with me, which deepened my insecurities and discomfort in my place in the world. I had all these feelings but didn’t know what to do with them or how to manage them. One thing I did know was that showing them was bad. The only was exception was in showing anger or something “tough,” which I thought would somehow prove that I was a force to be reckoned with, rather than a delicate weeping flower.

Over the years, through an arduous ongoing journey, I’ve learned to become comfortable with all those feelings, but not run by them. Respecting and managing my emotions—including how they affect my body—is a process that’s still ongoing. I’ll share a recent example with the hopes that it helps someone reading this.

Reframing what sensitivity means

Just the other day my mom, who is probably the toughest person I know, said something to me that challenged the way I look at myself.

She said, “Misty, you always talk about how sensitive you are. But really, I don’t think you’re a sensitive person. I think you have a heightened awareness.” She went on to explain that this perceptiveness was a strength because I’m able to read people and situations very clearly and intuitively.

I sat with this for a while. I’ve reached a point where I’m at peace with being a sensitive person and quite frankly, proud of it. So, to think of this differently was well, different.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt confidence grow because having a “heightened awareness” feels more like having a superpower.

Any way you frame it, being sensitive is something that you can learn to draw strength from when you learn how to harness it. It’s like if you have a strong throwing arm, but you don’t quite have the technique down. What you would do? You would probably surround yourself with the right resources and practice. Same idea with your emotions.

Why sensitivity is a strength

“We often associate sensitivity with weakness, but when we learn how to manage our energy and emotions we can actually become more controlled, empathetic, and driven. Most people suppress their sensitivity, not realizing that it’s a very powerful source of productive energy once they can learn how to accept it and direct it toward something positive.” Benjamin Fishel

When you feel and care a lot, it can be overwhelming, especially if you’re the type of person to walk into a room or be around someone (even virtually) and feel the energy instantly change.

Many of the toughest athletes I know are also the most sensitive ones. The strength comes from learning how to manage the things that you feel and pick up on.

In sports, one of the greatest competitive advantages that a player can have is to anticipate what the other team or player is going to do next. Many of the great athletes feel their competitors out and rely on instinct.

One of the best methods I’ve found for harnessing this awareness is to practice mindfulness and meditation because it allows you to slow down, breathe, let go, and deepen self-awareness. Self-knowing, a pillar in mindfulness, allows you to understand your feelings by acknowledging them rather than judging them. In doing this, you’ll be able to understand things that make you tick, how to respond rather than react, and you’ll also be able to know what you need when you need it. For example, perhaps you need a break alone in a quiet space to recharge.

Keys to the game:

• Rather than judge or try to shove away your sensitivity, acknowledge that it is a strength that needs developing.
• Allow yourself the opportunity to develop your intuition to serve you well in sports and beyond.
• Learn how to hear, understand, and manage your emotions to your advantage using tools like mindfulness and meditation. This way your feelings aren’t in control.
• When you’re feeling emotional, take a step back and take deep breaths before taking action. Don’t talk, don’t move, don’t tweet.
• If someone tries to shame you for being too sensitive, you can smile inside knowing that just because they don’t get it, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

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