High performance is as much mental as it is anything else. If you’ve ever felt like you’re holding yourself back, it is probably worth digging into your mindset. To remove limitations, the first step is to become aware of those thoughts so that you can reframe them.
I’m re-reading a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer called, “Excuses Begone!” In one of the first chapters, Dr. Dyer wrote:
“The only thing an excuse gives you is an option out of the life that you’d like to live. Words like difficult, risky, can’t, not strong, not smart, rules, too big, and too complicated excuse you from being the kind of person you’d like to be and were destined to become.”
He goes on to write just a few sentences later:
“Excuses are evidence that you’ve discarded a way of thinking that’s all-powerful for one that’s all-limiting.”
When I coached cheerleading, my athletes were never allowed to say the words, “I can’t.” Instead, they were allowed to say something like, “I’ll try.”
As I continue the journey of my own personal evolution, I am focusing on becoming more aware of my mindset. My goal is to get out of my own way by observing my negative thought habits in the moment and then reframing them into something that’s real. (Anxiety has a way of leading you to think all sorts of wretched things for absolutely no reason at all.)
If you have big goals, you have to be willing to do the inside work. Your emotions, your thought habits, and your mindset will derail you if you’re not careful. These things can easily become excuses (i.e., blocks).
I have found that honoring how you feel by simply recognizing your emotions and thoughts without judgment is a really important step in this process. For example, I might find myself overthinking about everything that could go wrong. I can handle this by:
- A) Continue to let myself go down that rabbit hole until I have major anxiety and feel even worse.
- B) Beat myself up for overthinking and tell myself I’m an idiot, there’s something wrong with me, and/or I’ll never get it right.
- C) Recognize what’s really happening. There goes that overthinking part of my brain again. That’s interesting. I know I can choose a different perspective. Let me take a few deep breaths and acknowledge that I’m doing this because I’m coming from a place of fear. I understand that and am going to give myself some grace. I’m also going to choose to get into growth mode and think a different way. If I’m still having a hard time slowing my thoughts down, I can use a tool like meditation, tapping, journaling, etc.
As you practice this, you might notice a pattern. For example, when things get scary, I overthink about what could go wrong. This then becomes a limitation that is stopping me from being my best.
Keys to the Game:
- Become aware without judgment. Keep tabs on your mindset for a week. Jot down when you catch yourself thinking of an excuse, a limitation, or something negative. The purpose of this exercise isn’t to judge yourself or ignore how you’re feeling/thinking, but rather to become aware. (I know it’s not always simple and I’m not trying to make it out to be. Sometimes, we react out of a trauma response or a mental health issue. Other times, those “negative” thoughts are there to keep you safe from harm’s way. The goal is awareness.)
- What if you had no limits? What if no one ever told you (or taught you) that you couldn’t do this or that, that you weren’t smart enough, good enough, fast enough, strong enough, beautiful enough, etc. What would you do? How would you think? How would you carry yourself? Energy has no limits and neither do you. God’s will has no limits and neither do you. The universe has no limits and neither do you.
- Make a goal to reframe just one excuse. Look for options instead of blocks. For example, maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book but you keep telling yourself you’re not a good writer and you can’t focus. What if you were to practice writing one paragraph a day or look for someone to help write the book for you?