There’s a saying that life happens in seasons. One thing about life is that it’s always changing. Sometimes those changes happen to us as individuals, and sometimes they are part of a larger collective change. Regardless of the source, the unnerving—and opportunistic—part of change is the unknown outcome that exists somewhere in the future. People handle this differently. Some might embrace it and stay in a state of flow (i.e., those people who say, “it is what it is,” and really mean it) and some might be unsettled and restless staying in a state of uncertainty. I think most people float in between these two places, and that’s in large part because our emotions fluctuate during even normal and uneventful days.

As we have seen in 2020, being in a state of change has felt like our “new normal.”

Change can change your mental health.

When a person feels a loss of control, it can affect their mental health. When you couple that with an environment that at times feels chaotic, angry, uncompassionate, and just flat out bizarre, it can be even harder to find stability in the moment.

You might think things like:

• Where am I safe?
• When will things feel normal again?
• When I look at the world, it makes me sad.
• If things don’t work out like I planned, what will I do next?
• Things are so bad that I can’t help but wonder what is coming next.
• If I ignore it, it’s not there.
• I feel so alone.
• I feel so lonely.
• I’m so frustrated and angry and it seems like there’s nothing I can do about it.

These are all normal thoughts, but too many of them too often and it’s easy to understand why anxiety and depression can easily become a real problem. They say that too much of anything is a bad thing, and I believe that to be true. The more focus you give something, the more it becomes a part of your life or even consumes your life. For example, the more you complain about something, the more you’re focusing on it and the more it’s a central part of your life.

But, in a period of such change that is so vast that it is impossible to ignore, how do you manage your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing?

Shift your focus on “uncertainty.”

How many times have you heard the phrase, “in times of uncertainty…” lately? It’s an accurate description but it’s also one that if you focus on too much, of course, you’re going to freak out. Everywhere you look someone is talking about uncertainty… and fighting about how to fix it. It can feel negative and hopeless, which can understandably deter your mental wellness.

The uncertainty of change can also feel isolating. The irony of the current state of our collective environment is that even though everyone is experiencing the same set of events, we are all experiencing them differently.

I could sit here and write about how you should focus on the opposite of uncertainty by assuring yourself that everything will be okay again, but I get it. Sometimes it’s deeper than that.

Nonetheless, in uncertainty, there is opportunity. It may not be easy but I encourage you to find a way to name the positive changes that have occurred during this time period in your personal life.

• Perhaps you’ve found a new fitness routine that you wouldn’t have otherwise if you were living life the same way.
• Maybe you started a business.
• Maybe you learned how to relax and not work yourself to the point of burn out week after week.
• Maybe you learned you’re stronger than you thought you were.
• Maybe you learned how to cook.
• Perhaps you discovered a new skill or interest that you didn’t know that you had.
• Maybe you’ve had time to ponder a career change.
• Maybe you’ve taken the time to do some healing.

No win is a small win.

For example, on the days that I’m really struggling, I try to remind myself that if it weren’t for this period of change, even with all of its difficulties, I still might not have published the Athlete Mental Health Playbook or figured out that working from home is a better option for me mentally, and that I’m actually more productive.

I would have been so busy riding the rollercoaster of my crazy jam-packed set schedule that I wouldn’t have had this period—as chaotic as it has been—of self-reflection.

So, what are the things you’re certain of now that you weren’t before?

Allow yourself to mourn.

It’s completely and totally normal to long for things to be the way that they were. This is part of the mourning process, and that process happens anytime there is a major disruption whether that is from the physical loss of a loved one, a break up in a relationship, or a complete life upheaval. Allow yourself to have the space to feel your way through your unique process but also find ways to pick yourself up and move forward.

There’s a sweet spot between ignoring your problems and dwelling on them.

Be more focused on the present moment by creating a positive environment.

Now more than ever, living in the future or in the past can be nerve-racking.  Really try to focus on the present and surround yourself with messages that feel good. Again, I think too much of anything is a bad idea including being glued to the news or social media where typically the most shocking stories, which are typically negative, are the ones that are trending.

Take media breaks, and even take breaks from having an endless conversations around all of the things that are changing. Allow yourself the space to live in an environment where your mind, body, and soul are connected.

Try this mindfulness meditation to help shift your focus to the present and let everything else just go.

Breathe. You’ve gone through changes before and you will again.

In times of change, it’s natural to focus only on that period of time. It’s easy to forget about how you’ve weathered changes before. For example, my mentor coach recently wrote an article about embracing a “knew normal.”

“In my experience, a powerful approach in creating awareness during challenging times lies in helping individuals remember—and leverage—their internal strengths and resources, based on past experiences that were successful. When that happens, we help the client create what I call a ‘knew normal’ in the midst of dealing with uncertainty. While the client recalls something they already knew about and/or knew how to do that worked in the past, new awareness is created in the realization of how that experience could apply to the current situation.”

Carolyn Hamilton-Kuby, CEC, PCC, “Facilitating A ‘Knew’ Normal”

She wrote this specifically for people who experience fear around times of uncertainty, but my takeaway is that we have all gone through difficult periods. That’s an inescapable part of the human experience.

While we’ve all experienced losses, we’ve also experienced wins. The wins can be harder to focus on—and to celebrate—during challenges, but it’s always helpful to remind yourself that things will be okay, regardless of what the future might look like exactly. We’re all just growing, aren’t we?

Expand your self-care time.

I don’t know what the remedy for everyone is but I know that for myself, I’ve really had to learn to take things day-by-day, to create a schedule that includes more self-care time, to choose to focus on opportunity and health, and to be flexible with my needs based on how I’m feeling on any given day.

I’ve written before about my sandwich schedule philosophy. I sandwich my day by doing something for myself at the beginning of my day and then doing something for myself at the end of the day. This helps me create a space to prepare for my day, but then it also helps me let go of the day. For example, some days I work out twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening, and it’s not because I’m training towards an athletic or weight loss goal. It’s simply because this is how I clear my head.

I believe that managing your mental health is a personal process, but I also believe that it’s not a DIY project. Sometimes, you need a hand to hold, an ear to listen, a cheerleader, or a kick in the pants with a different perspective.

Speak up and ask for help

The number one thing you can do is reach out for help. Don’t try to justify if you’re struggling enough to ask for help. Just ask for it.

Whether you prefer to chat with a therapist, a coach, a religious leader, or someone in your inner circle, there are incredible benefits to talking about things and finding solutions. Often, the hardest part is asking for help, but as the saying goes, you never know until you try.

Need help managing your mental health wellness routine? Contact me about mental health coaching.