There’s no doubt that at one point or another either you or someone you know has said, “I have trust issues.” As an athlete, “trust,” is essential. You have to be able to trust yourself, your teammates, and your coaches.
If emotions are an indicator of mental health, then being overly guarded is a block in the mental clarity that athletes need to excel. Maybe you know someone who is untrusting, yet still an exceptional athlete. Imagine how much more effective their game would be if they actually trusted the people around them.
I know what it’s like to be afraid that people are going to hurt you or leave you. It’s natural to develop a defensive mindset after you’ve been burned. You want to protect yourself from being hurt or disappointed before anyone has the chance to do so. However, the truth is, not everyone is going to hurt you or leave you. That can be hard to accept in the cutthroat world of sports and business, or even life in general, but trust is an essential part of the foundation of any healthy and successful relationship. For example, if you think everyone is out to get you, you’ll never feel nor act like you’re really part of the team.
Trust issues can feel like they are a part of you because something most likely happened to make you develop that wall. Suppose that you experienced loss at a young age as the result of a traumatic incident such as the death of a loved one or abandonment by a parent. Feeling hurt and left alone by someone you trusted would be an obvious reason to distrust people. It’s a natural and understandable defense, but if you want to grow and succeed, you have to open up to people and give them a chance to have your back. The weight of the world is too heavy for anyone to carry alone, on or off the court or field. For athletes at the very least, a team’s success depends on the trust that teammates have in each other.
How can you have more trust in people?
- Understand that you can’t control people. – People have motivations, emotions, and their own individual mental process. That has nothing to do with you.
- Don’t take things personally. – You can trust someone and still be in control when you understand that not everything someone does is a direct reflection of you or your value as a person/player.
- Know that some people genuinely will care about you and want to help you. – Not everyone is out to screw you over. Yes, this may take time during the course of your relationship for you to see who has your back and who doesn’t, but if you start a relationship thinking you can’t trust someone, you deny yourself the opportunity to see him or her for who they are as well.
- Step in their shoes. Would you want a teammate who didn’t trust you? – I can’t think of a single person would want to play on a team with someone who didn’t trust them. Start with trust. If that fails, go back to step one on this list.
- Trust your instincts. – There’s a difference between trusting your gut or your instincts and hiding behind an invisible wall. If you can learn to hear and listen to your instincts, you can learn to trust yourself. If you put up a wall, you’re affirming that don’t trust yourself to make the right choices. Mindfulness and meditation can help with developing self-awareness.
One of the most effective ways to connect with your inner voice and heighten your day-to-day intuition is practicing mindfulness and meditation. This is a practice that allows you to clear out the noise—both from external sources and internal sources. You learn to let go of your attachment and act freely without worry or fear. Click here to learn more about the benefits of mindfulness and meditation for athletes.
If trust is something that you are struggling with as an athlete, start small. No one is saying you have to jump in right away and trust everyone.
- Learn to listen to your instincts and trust yourself.
- Begin to practice trusting your teammates and coaches during practice and game time.
- Work on off the court or off the field relationships from there.
Remember, people look for teammates who are open, not teammates who are blocked. Energy works the same way as physical action, so make a choice to be open or be blocked in paving your way to opportunity.
Would you like to work on being a more trusting athlete and individual? Contact Coach Misty about setting up an intro coaching session.