People often equate athlete mental toughness with a relentless grind, but that effort can easily lead to exhaustion if you’re not careful. We hear it all the time. As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of a story Rick Ross tells in his book “Hurricanes” about how he was hospitalized after he famously suffered a seizure from pushing nonstop and abusing drugs along the way.

Whether mentally, physically, or emotionally, we all have breaking points.

I recently had a casual conversation with a woman who wanted to know how to balance out being mentally tough and pushing to reach her goals without as she put it, “hitting a wall of exhaustion.” She described it as an endless cycle: Going, going, going, and then hitting the wall.

This woman was determined to push past her limitations so that nothing stood in the way of reaching her goal. What she was missing was that she was putting in so much effort, she was actually overly expending her energy by over-compensating in her actions.

I didn’t get to have too deep of a conversation with her, but I suspect that the reason for all this “effort” had something to do with underlying worries, fears, and doubts. Going another layer deeper, it may not have been just her physical output, but the stress she felt to put in that effort.

Her approach to “mental toughness” probably needed some tweaking.

Consider for a moment that being in a constant state of an outpouring of energy is not only exhausting; it’s physically impossible to maintain. Secondly, mental toughness requires trust, so if you’re so busy “doing,” there’s no room for trust or faith.

Yes, sometimes being mentally tough means pushing past limitations and doing things you don’t feel like doing, but it also doesn’t mean sacrificing your health or suffering to do so. Mental toughness also means trusting that the work that you are doing is enough, which means you have to learn to trust in yourself. Developing trust can also help with stress management.

Learn to put forth effort and conserve energy by setting boundaries, and also by understanding your emotional relationship to the actions that you’re taking. Ask yourself questions like:

• Which of these activities is actually bringing me closer to me goal? Say “no” to everything else.
• When am I taking time to fill my cup or take “me time” to recharge? Remember, you’re human, not a machine, and even machines break with overuse and improper maintenance.
• Am I in a place of resistance? Notice how your body feels, including places of tension like your jaw, shoulders, back, or stomach. Take note of your mood, how you’re interacting with others, etc. Being in a place of distrust can exhaust your energy that much quicker.
• Am I focusing too much on the destination and not the journey? If you’re too focused on where you want to be, then you’re spending a lot of time focused on where you’re not. Instead, be clear on your goal and your purpose, but give yourself the opportunity to pay attention to the journey you’re on.
• Am I being impatient? Sometimes when someone is trying to force something to happen sooner than later, it’s simply a matter of deciding to have more patience with the process. You can only control so much.

Keys to the game:

• Redefine your definition of mental toughness. Over-extending effort by trying to force things to happen in your timeframe, won’t make anything happen any faster, but it will make you exhausted and frustrated.
• Evaluate where your effort is really going. Mental toughness is the discipline to use your time wisely, not to just fill your time up with a bunch of things.
• Listen to the cues from your mind, body, and soul. For example, if everything you’re doing is accompanied by stress, see if there is a way that you can reframe your motivation and/or your actions.

Need someone to hold a safe, confidential space for you so you can unpack the heavy stuff? Join a one-on-one VIP coaching program with me so you can develop the trust, confidence, permission, and resiliency to overcome conflict and enjoy inner peace.