If you’re working on improving an area of your life, it’s likely that one of your steps is to identify self-limiting beliefs. Many times the limitations that we place on ourselves are based on mental blocks. These mindset limitations can make you think things like, “this is just how life is,” or “this negative thing is what’s meant to be,” or my personal favorite, “I must have bad karma.” Each negative belief is like a secret compartment that locks you away from more enjoyment in life. In other words, if enjoyment is a key to mental wellness, then limitations are the lock.

What are self-limiting beliefs?

“Limiting beliefs are those specific stories that hold us back in some way from becoming who we truly want to be. Often, they are unquestioned and/or unconscious. ”

Ruben Chavez, Think Grow Prosper

Everyone has mental blocks and self-limiting beliefs. These may be the result of trauma or something as inconspicuous as familial beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs can be incredibly difficult to identify and then change because it requires the chance that you may have to go against a belief that’s ingrained in your family’s values, but also because, in a way, you have to change that part of the identity of who you are and how you see the world.

Self-limiting beliefs feed your ego.

We identify ourselves by our beliefs. Plus, our egos are fed each and every time something happens to solidify that belief as truth. When our experiences match our beliefs, not only do we feel good about being “right” about the world, those truths then become deeper thought habits that exist in the subconscious mind.

For example, if you think you can’t be highly successful at work and then you get fired from your job, that right there is proof that your belief is right.

But what if you got fired because you sabotaged your job so that you could prove to yourself that your belief is correct?

What if, instead, you began to change that perception?

What would happen if instead of telling yourself that getting fired is one more example of your inability to be highly successful in a career, you tell yourself that you have an opportunity to do something great with this change?

The law of attraction and scientific energy studies tell us that our thoughts become our reality. I believe that but you don’t have to believe that to believe what I’m going to say next.

People commonly make decisions based on their beliefs, which therefore means that when your thoughts become your experience, it’s as simple as cause and effect.

If you want to uncover limiting beliefs, you have to be humble in observing your thoughts and willing to admit that perhaps some of those perceptions are negative blocks.

Here are four questions you can ask to help you identify self-limiting beliefs:

1. What negative things do I tell myself? Start to become aware of your thoughts throughout the day and write down any negative self-talk that occurred, who you were with, and what you were doing. You might notice a pattern.
2. What does my reality look like right now? This is an important clue because many people think they can do anything and that the sky is the limit, but when they describe their current reality, it’s a very limited description.
3. What limiting phrases did people say to me in my childhood? For example, maybe a teacher told you were bad at a particular subject, or a role model told you were slow and fat, or your parents instilled in you that money is hard to come by. Those things have a way of sticking to us because we value what other people think of us and also because we value what role models teach us about the world when we are young.
4. What things do I do to keep myself safe or protect myself? The answer to this question may offer another clue about self-limiting beliefs because we often adopt a particular way of thinking to avoid danger. Sometimes that danger is real, like touching a hot stove, and sometimes that danger is based more on anxiety or worry of perceived danger. For example, like hanging out with a group of people you don’t like but doing so because you believe no one else will want to be your friend.

Whatever your self-limiting beliefs look like, know that you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. Everyone adopts self-limiting beliefs whether they admit it or not. It’s human nature. However, if you find negative blocks that you’re uncomfortable with, it is 100% possible to change those just as you can change any other habit.

Want more help identifying and changing self-limiting beliefs? Contact me about coaching.