If you’ve ever done something outside of your comfort zone, you likely had some sort of inner dialogue around your confidence level. Moreover, if you’ve inner had insecurity battles and anxiety, you might know what it’s like to feel uncertainty on a regular basis.

There’s not a specific moment in my life that stands out about a time that I lacked confidence, but insecurities definitely sneak up on me, especially when I feel like I’m not doing enough or achieving anything. Basically, I learned that I try to exert control by keeping busy because it boosts my confidence and self-esteem. I don’t think that’s terribly uncommon with Type A or go-getter personalities who also deal with anxiety. Anxiety is in part a fear of not being in control, which pushes some people to stay busy doing many different things. And when they aren’t busy, they might feel unsafe. Personally, it’s an ego issue that I work on. I purposely take breaks to do nothing to allow that part of my ego to heal, and sometimes it’s hard both in the moment and also in the aftermath of regretting that I didn’t use my time wisely.

Developing a Confident Mindset

“I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”

Kobe Bryant

Developing a confident mindset is a discipline. It takes recognizing insecurities when they are occurring and then shifting your thoughts. Like Kobe said, “You don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.” In other words, you don’t give in, but rather you deal with it, shift your focus, and move forward.

• Developing positive thought habits take discipline and practice. There’s absolutely no other way around it.
• The law of attraction basically says that wherever you place your attention, is what you attract into your life. You can’t dwell on what you don’t want, or what doesn’t feel good, and expect a positive result.
• Using affirmations daily can help immensely with this. Why? Because you’re training your brain to have new thought habits, which allows you to rewire your mindset to one that is more prosperous.
• Tell a different story. For example, if you are set off when you feel like you’re not in control, remind yourself that no one has 100% control regardless of what they do.
• Learn to move forward regardless of the outcome. Things may turn out the way you want, and they may not, but if you don’t move forward, you’ll certainly never find out.

20 Affirmations for Confidence (When You Feel Insecure)

1. What people think of me is none of my business. (Reminder: Stay in your lane with focus.)
2. I am good at what I do.
3. There’s no need to compare myself to others. There’s only one of me.
4. It’s impossible to be everything to everyone.
5. There is a place where I belong exactly as I am.
6. It is possible to be loved for everything that I am, exactly as I am. (Reminder: You’re not broken or unlovable.)
7. Settling boundaries helps me claim my peace. No one can do that for me.
8. I love my imperfections.
9. I do not need to be more or do more to be loved.
10. Money isn’t tied to my value as a person.
11.  Everyone loses sometimes. It doesn’t mean I can’t win.
12.  I celebrate my body by focusing on its strengths.
13.  An injury is a temporary setback and a chance to emerge stronger.
14.  I choose who to love and befriend.
15. I let go of the words and opinions of others so I can stay in my pocket.
16. I can shift my mindset at any moment. I am confident.
17.  I do not need validation from other people in order to love myself.
18.  I trust that what I am doing is right.
19.  I am strong enough to push through my self-doubt.
20.  The key to confidence is to turn the key and unlock the door.

Need a confidence boost? I developed this free toolkit with three of my most popular mindset tools to help you gain inner strength so you can conquer the day with the swag of a Hall of Famer.