When you live a competitive lifestyle and/or are in high-pressure situations on the regular, it’s not uncommon to fear falling behind or getting left behind. One of the most popular articles I’ve written to date has been about athlete anxiety and the need to control outcomes. One of the reasons someone might try to control his or her anxiety by controlling an outcome is because he or she fears falling behind. For someone with anxiety, falling behind is one of their worst nightmares because that person likely already doesn’t feel like they are enough or can do enough. So, the anxiety of falling behind feeds right into the consuming mentality that everything is falling apart and life is a disaster.

For athletes, the individual might fear falling behind their teammates, their social peers, or their family. There is a ton of pressure on athletes coming from many directions and sometimes they fear that no matter what they do, there will never be enough. Whether their concern is over having enough talent, playing time, time in their day-to-day schedule, credentials, money, etc., these fears are legitimate and can derail a person’s mental health.

For someone dealing with anxiety, the fear of falling behind often drives the person to overcompensate mentally and physically. For example, are you afraid that if you don’t do everything at 200% or that if you take a break someone will jump in front of you? There’s a razor thin line between pushing yourself and making yourself sick. I’ve heard stories of athletes pushing themselves so hard that they neglect something as simple as drinking water, which results in them being hospitalized.

How to Stop Fearing Falling Behind

• For starters, I think it’s important to look at what’s really going on. It’s common for people who have anxiety to fear that the world is going to fall a part at any second and that everything good is going to go away. I find it helpful to ask, “is this me or is this my anxiety?” Perspective is an important first step.

• Remind yourself that you are okay, you’re safe, you’re doing your best, and what you’re feeling is a result of anxiety. Stop what you’re doing for just a few moments. Regain control of your thoughts. Take a moment to pause and be in the present rather than worried about the future. Look around at where you are. Look at the grass, the trees, the blacktop, or something that doesn’t change and is there day after day. Focus on something tangible. Inhale and exhale while keeping your eyes focused on what’s in front of you and become present in the moment. Tell yourself, “I am here. I am doing my best. It’s all going to work out.” Connect mentally and physically to the present moment. Let everything else on your mind gently go.

• Learn to recognize the difference between anxiety and motivation. They are two very different driving forces. When you feel anxiety, you act out of fear. When you feel motivated, you act out of strength. When you feel anxious, you tell yourself, if I don’t do this then this horrible thing will happen. When you feel motivated, you tell yourself, I’m doing this because I want this result. Again, it can be a very thin line but you’ll know the difference by how you feel: fear or strength.

• Know that you always have options. If things don’t go one way, there’s always the option to go in another direction. Go day by day. If you feel completely overwhelmed, remind yourself to live today for today. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Just for today, focus on today.

While this might make a good starting place, typically anxiety takes some effort to work through because no two people are the same. Working with a psychologist and/or a mental health coach can help you work through your unique experience. A psychologist can diagnose you with anxiety and offer treatment that among many things looks at the source of why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. A coach can help you develop self-awareness and a personalized action plan for the present and the future.

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