Can Mindfulness Benefit Highly Sensitive People?

I was the super sensitive kid in class. The one who was incredibly kind, shy, and whose feelings got hurt pretty easily and pretty often.

There I was on the elementary school playground on a bright Miami day, minding my own second-grader business. I happened to walk into a danger zone. The place that teachers warn you about and your own instincts tell you to avoid. But that’s exactly the spot that I found myself in and I paid the price.

I was in my own day-dream little blissful world, when wham! I got kicked in the head. Hard. I had committed the cardinal sin of walking behind a swing set while kids were swinging away. But that’s not what’s important to this story.

The important part is that as the recess teacher guided me into the lunchroom, which was packed with kids, to get a bag of ice for my injuries, I was crying my eyes out. Holding my head with my vision blurred from the tears, ego bruised from being dumb enough to walk behind the swing set in the first place, and I heard another teacher—one who I thought was nice and felt safe with—call out to the recess teacher something to the effect of, “Don’t worry about her, she’s always crying.”

“Don’t worry about her, she’s always crying.”

Now, I was embarrassed, mad, physically hurt, and still crying. It hit my in my gut. Am I just a cry baby? Does this really not hurt? And then, I’d like to see her get whacked in the head by a kid on a swing and see if she sheds a tear. So. Many. Emotions.

I realized many years later through a journey of self-discovering the pain points that made me, me, that this was a significant incident. It’s one of the first memories I have of someone calling me out for being a crybaby. And by an adult that I actually liked and respected no less.

I have endless stories of times I cried big in public but I’ll share just one more to illustrate the perils of being a highly sensitive person, but also how the adult’s reaction was much different. When I was around six-years-old, my aunt took me to see a movie, “Harry and the Hendersons.” It is a lighthearted comedy about a family (i.e., the Hendersons) who befriends Bigfoot (i.e., Harry). Well, at one point in the movie the father of the family yells at Harry telling him to leave. I have no idea why he yelled at Harry, I’ve never seen the movie again, and you’re about to find out why.

When the scene was over, I cried like crazy. I mean wailing… to the point that my aunt had to take me out of the theater. Why was he so mean to Harry? (To me Harry resembled an animal and I am a big animal lover. Plus, I really dislike mean people.) Wow that hurt my heart. I remember the scene with the yelling and the immediate heartbreak I felt, but no so much the actual physical part of being in the moving theatre, crying, and walking out. My aunt loves to tell that story. My assumption was that she was both kind and comforting in the moment, which is probably why it isn’t a traumatic memory like swing set incident, and why we can laugh about it today.

So, two very different experiences with being the hyper-sensitive girl who cries a lot. However, as with many experiences in life, you tend to remember the negative ones the most. I think that’s why I can still see and hear the teacher basically calling me a crybaby even though that incident was over 30 years ago.

I thought being a highly sensitive person meant there was something wrong with me.

I thought being a highly sensitive person meant there was something wrong with me. I held on to that for many, many years. It wasn’t until my late thirties that I became comfortable with what I feel and how much I feel it. It was a process of learning to accept who I am and that I can be both sensitive and tough.

The bottom line is that all those feelings aren’t a weakness, they are a strength and they help me in my profession today.

Emotional sensitivity can absolutely impact mental wellness.

Whether you want to label it hyper-sensitive, overly-sensitive, highly sensitive, or empathic, having a lot of feelings makes it a real challenge to find your footing in this world. Sometimes, the feelings you pick up on, aren’t even your own. They reflect the energy of the environment you’re in or someone else’s vibes.

This is one reason why I practice and teach grounding techniques. As I wrote about in the Athlete Mental Health Playbook, there’s a stark difference between being aware of your feelings and in your feelings.

The thing is that when your emotions are big, it’s easy to get carried away and led by feelings. It’s like a train. The emotions are the conductor. Your thoughts, physical body response, and actions follow suit while your soul essentially plays the role of the long-forgotten caboose.

How do you balance it all out?

Mindfulness is an indispensable practice for highly sensitive people

Practicing mindfulness is the greatest tool at your disposal. When you learn to listen and observe, you can learn to let go and let be.

“If we see how we suffer, we can understand how not to suffer.”

George Mumford, Mindful Athlete Coach and Author

Imagine that you were caught up in your emotions, but instead of helplessly gripping onto those feelings, you could choose your response. 

In mindfulness, you work to train your mind to breathe, observe, accept/understand, and let go. With that deeper understanding, you can let go of your feelings instead of attaching to them because you now are giving yourself the space to observe and respond. In other words, instead of allowing your emotions to shake you, you can use a higher perspective to remain steady.

What are some ways to practice mindfulness? Well, just to name a few, you can try:

• Meditation
• Journaling
• Mindful movement
• Yoga
• Conscious breathing
• Focusing on one thing at a time such as a task or a sense

Through mindfulness, I’ve been able to practice that critical piece of accepting myself while also being able to get a grip on my feelings. It’s invaluable to my mental wellness.