What a 15-Year-Old Coach Taught Me About Purpose and Fulfillment

On a steamy and humid August day in Miami, I stepped onto the grassy practice field and discovered a new love. I was just 15-years-old starting my first day as an assistant cheerleading coach to a peewee team.

I loved the fall season as a kid. Even in the incredibly dense heat, there was just something about the smell of the fresh-cut grass combined with the melodies of the season comprised of the sound of coaches’ whistles, football players hitting their pads, and cheerleaders chanting in unison. I was in heaven.

On this particular day, I was also nervous. I knew nothing about coaching. Cheerleading, yes, coaching, not a clue. But, it was the first day of a path that led me to four years of coaching championship-winning cheer squads. It was also the first day that I began to realize just how damn much I love coaching.

But, finding my purpose at just 15-years-old? It wasn’t anywhere in the realm of my thoughts at the time (at least consciously).

My dad was a coach and I watched him for years. I always wanted to be a part of the action, even if it was just as an observer. He was so passionate. He was a hype man, a teacher, and a mentor all rolled into one. He cared so much about each individual player. It was not unlike him to go out of his way to help them with stuff like arranging for tutors to help them with school or driving for miles to pick them up for practice. It was also not unlike him to call them out for underperforming.

And so, when I became a coach myself, this is what I wanted to emulate. In fact, I think one of the many reasons that I love coaching so much is that it’s something that I could bond with my father over. I guess I did something right because as time went on, sometimes he would turn to me for my thoughts on situations with players. While I didn’t have a clue about coaching the game of football or roller hockey (how very Miami), I got really good at helping athletes up their belief in themselves. I can vividly remember telling him what speech to give during halftime of a couple of games (his team ended up winning the game each time). There was also the night that I found him pacing in the hallway while everyone else in the house was sleeping because he was trying to think of a resolution to an issue with the team, and so I woke up to talk through it with him.

But, when I was 20-years-old, I decided to transfer to a college in another part of the state and so I left my coaching days behind me. Part of me was devastated. A big part of me. However, at this point in my life, I was on a mission to get an education and become a serious career woman and so I didn’t give much thought to what I was leaving behind.

Ironically, that career woman’s life that I was chasing in the corporate world didn’t fulfill me a quarter as much as my days as a coach. (And, this is even after I started my first business in 2008.) Something was missing. So, in 2015, after a rough patch in my business, I decided to get certified as a professional life coach and spiritual life coach.

It took me nearly 15 years to find a way back to my passion, but I did. When people ask about why I choose to coach athletes on mental health, it’s because this is what feels like home to me. Coaching is where I feel like I can breathe.

So, my question to you is, what lights a fire in your soul? What are the things that you do that make you feel like you can breathe? Were there things as a kid that you loved that you stopped doing as an adult? Is there a calling that is nagging at you?

Chances are, they involve connections with people. Actually, there’s a whole happiness study by Harvard about how being meaningfully connected to people drives happiness and increases both health and life span.

I’m not saying that you have to change your career or turn your life upside down. I don’t believe in the extremist ways of thinking.

What I’m saying is that there are experiences in your life that make your soul come alive. If you feel like something is missing, ask yourself, are you serving your whole authentic self? 

So much of what we seek out in mental wellness is happiness and clarity along with a sense of steady grounding and belonging.

What is my place in this world? That question can really mess with people.

Even when I started my first business, I knew that I wanted something more. I thought it was going to be enough to be an entrepreneur, but it turns out that there was more to it. There was always that underlying sense that something was missing, which is how I eventually found my way back to coaching. I couldn’t shake the satisfaction of those teenage memories. When I look back at my life up until this point, I can say unequivocally that was by far the best experience that I ever dedicated myself to. 

So, what does all this mean for you?

Start Finding Your Own Purpose and Fulfillment

Here are three key takeaways for today:

1. The excitement of your inner child still exists. Don’t get so grown that you forget to develop your whole self. What helps you feel connected to others and to yourself? (Hint: it might not have anything to do with a career path.)
2. Life is about evolving. Being stuck in an idea of who/what you think you should be is exhausting and uncomfortable. Do you feel things like, “I don’t have time to be me” or “This is sucking away my soul?” Ask yourself, “What does ‘being me’ mean?” What does your soul need? Again, this doesn’t translate to take an extreme step or else (dun dun dunnn), it just means being more aware of what you really want and figuring out ways to say, “yes” to you and “no” to whatever no longer serves you.
3. Every single person wants to feel fulfilled. Even people who have hobbies, a dream job, and plenty of “me time,” might find themselves wanting something else. That’s totally natural. If you’re feeling unfulfilled, it might be time to become grateful for what you have or seek out new avenues to light your soul. For some people, fulfillment means learning to sit still and enjoy the ride, and for others, it might mean listening to their soul’s desires a little more.

Want to work through this some more? Request a free coaching session with me here.