I Help Athletes With Mental Health

Before I get into how I help athletes with mental health issues, I want to elaborate a little on why I decided to serve in this capacity and what led me here. Everything in my life has been leading me to this. I’ve spent years feeling like I was all over the place while trying to figure out how I’m supposed to be serving others when it really has been a linear journey all along. That realization was monumental and felt completely aligned with who I am. Let me explain.

Here’s how my life prepared me for this

I grew up around sports with my Dad always having football, NASCAR, or fishing on TV when I was a little kid. Even when I wasn’t watching with him, sports became normal background noise that felt like home. We also had season tickets in the late 1980’s/early 1990’s for University of Miami football back when it was at the Orange Bowl ($20 no blocky).

In addition to falling in love with sports at an early age, I was also an emotional and sensitive kid who just wanted everyone to get along and be happy. I remember one birthday party I had in fifth grade that, when I think about now, I see it was a clear indicator of my path. There I was in a new neighborhood with a new group of friends and an old group of friends all converging at the same slumber party.  Not everyone was getting along. I wasn’t having it. I stopped the party. I made everyone sit in circle and I made everyone make peace. That was my first coaching experience. No one told me to do it. It was an innate response, just part of who I naturally am.

My next coaching experience came in high school. I aged out of peewee cheerleading and never had the guts to try out for the high school squad so I decided to coach. I did this for four years and every single year, my team placed first or second in competition, one of those teams placed third in the Florida regionals. During those years, I was also on the sideline helping my Dad, who coached my brother’s football and roller hockey teams. I’d see the momentum shifting and I’d give my Dad some advice, not on what plays to call, but how to get the players’ heads back in the game. And then there were times when I needed to be his coaching confidant. I’ll never forget the night when I heard him pacing in the hallway outside of my bedroom door. I was about 14 years old. I woke up and asked him what was going. It turns out he had something on this mind about the team he was coaching. I can’t remember which team it was, but I talked him through it, he got the clarity he needed, and he went back to bed.

Then, when I was in my mid teens, mental health struggles began to surface. My parents were getting divorced, we were moving again, everyone was fighting, my hormones were crazy, and depression ensued. I wasn’t sure what to do with all of my feelings, but I was sad and angry and felt completely out of control. Eventually, I opened up to my parents and got help from a psychologist and psychiatrist. But then in my twenties, while away at college, I began to experience anxiety and anxiety attacks. It came out of nowhere. I can’t say anything or anyone in particular caused it. It just was. So, I got help for that too.  Now in my thirties, I’ve figured out how to manage my daily mental wellness through a holistic mind, body, and soul approach that includes self-awareness and clarity through mindfulness and meditation among other things. Not every day, or every week for that matter, is perfect, but at least I can recognize what’s happening when it’s happening and know what I need to do to feel better.

Also in my thirties I began to feel like something was missing in my life. I was ready to do more and make a contribution to this world, but how? I got certified as a Professional Life Coach, a Spiritual Life Coach, and a Reiki Master, all while searching for more answers. Long story short, after several years I eventually realized I wanted to coach athletes since that was the most gratifying “job” I had done to date, but I had no idea what direction to go in. I prayed and meditated on it.

Months later through a series of fortunate events, I met with an athlete advisor and former overseas basketball player who saw it clear as day: be a mental health coach for athletes. He guided me to think about my experiences and how I can use what I’ve learned to help other people. I never thought about it that way because I was scared to talk about mental health, but the more I did think about it and the more I wrote about it, I realized I had a lot to say and I could really help athletes because this is largely unchartered territory in the sports world.   And while I can’t coach them on their physical game, if there’s one thing I can do, it’s be an open, understanding ear and guide them to clarity through self-awareness, which ultimately will lead them to be better in their profession and personal life.

When I look back at what I went through the first couple of decades of my life, I am amazed that I am where I am. I could have made lots of different decisions, but somehow here I am living my best life, happily married to my best friend, the owner of a successful business, living in a nice home in a good neighborhood, with an incredible family and group of friends, and just plain ‘ol happy. I’m not happy because of these things, I’m happy because I found peace within myself, which allows me to enjoy my achievements, improve, and remain in a happy marriage. If I can work to overcome my personal problems and find a way to navigate day-to-day stuff that comes up and still be able to achieve happiness, peace, and balance, I know others can too.

Why do I help athletes with mental health?

I’ve been involved with sports and athletes as long as I can remember. As first as a fan, then the coach’s daughter, then as a coach/mentor, but also as an athlete in the gym, a friend to a multitude of athletes, and I even married a former athlete. I only bring this up for one reason, which is that the competitive spirit lasts a lifetime but athletic careers do not and while players train their bodies and sports IQ endlessly, their mental health is often shoved to the bottom of the priority list causing a real crisis. We want our athletes to grow up, but who is leading them to have the clarity to make those decisions? Who is concerned with their peace of mind and happiness? It shouldn’t be a haphazard side job of a coach. Every coach has a job and a specialty, which is why we need mental health coaches.

Mental health needs to be a top priority, which is why I’m working to impact one person and one team at a time. It should be at the forefront of the conversation and ongoing training provided by team’s player wellness department. At the very least players should know who to go to for mental health issues and someone should be holding them accountable by checking in regularly with each and every one of them. (More on this in the Team Mental Health Evaluation available in the Athlete Mental Health Playbook.)

Not only is mental health essential to being a better athlete and teammate, it’s the one common goal everyone strives for and everyone can achieve regardless of which side of the ball you’re on. Rings, trophies, and memories fade. Athletes still have a life to live after all is said done in their down time, during the offseason, and eventually in retirement. In looking at the big picture, the one in which we know sports are temporary, the real work in life is achieving a daily well-rounded balance because when we get down to it, everyone’s goal is to achieve peace, clarity and happiness. However, when you’re mental health is off-balance, everything else doesn’t seem as important.

Lots of athletes and people think they can handle it on their own, but for athletes in particular who like to assert their dominance, someone, somewhere at sometime is going to push your buttons. Something will happen because that’s life. How will you handle that? How will you get past trials and tribulations?

When I was going through depression all I wanted was to feel good, but I also felt like a burden. This led me to think about self-destructive behavior, which would relieve both of those overwhelming feelings. From this experience, I can see why and how people choose a myriad of ways to relieve their pain and suffering. When people question why someone would commit suicide, I can understand it because at that level of depression they’re overwhelmingly consumed with sadness and they don’t see another way out. All they know is they want the pain to stop and they want to stop feeling like they are a burden on other people. I wrote an article called, “How to Spot and Support Someone With Depression,” that has a lot of info on this particular topic. Still, a person doesn’t have to be struggling with major depression to need balance. Life happens and every person on this planet could benefit from self-improvement because we are imperfect beings.

My role as an athlete mental health coach is to be there at the bare bones of life when you’re just a person, a human being, an individual with feelings, trials, dreams, accomplishments, faults, etc.

How do I help athletes with mental health?

Having overcome depression as a teen and anxiety as an adult I know the value of peace of mind and it’s my goal to guide people to achieve that. In virtually every session, I’m able to guide an individual to some level of inner clarity and resolution in just one session. Through a series of sessions, the individual becomes more self-aware and develops day-to-day mental wellness tools to achieve peace-of-mind that lasts a lifetime. 

Whether an athlete needs guidance while going through a tough time or in managing mental illness, they all have one thing in common: they need a space to be heard without judgment. I give them a space where they don’t need to put on a “tough guy” or “tough gal” appearance, but rather they can just be open and honest.

Having owned and operated a marketing agency for over 10 years, I know the pressure of needing to perform and produce, but I also know how life happens and can affect your ability to do your job, whether that’s in an office, on a court, or at home. So, here’s what we do in coaching…

Mental health is about finding your inner balance and remaining balanced day-to-day with personalized tools. As an athlete mental health coach, I help individuals focus on the present moment and coach them to focus on balancing their mind, body, and soul, which helps them improve their lives, relationships and even performance. It’s like strength training for the mind and soul, which as with any wellness program, addresses limitations.

In each session, the athlete chooses what he or she wants to focus on—which they may or may not be clear on at the beginning of the session—and I simply listen and ask questions. The answers to those questions quite often lead to a major shift in perspective. We then brainstorm ways to apply that new perspective in a way that makes the most sense for the individual. In short, I give athletes, both active and retired, peace of mind.

My personal philosophy in coaching begins with the soul. That’s because I believe, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin famously said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” The things that happen in life can cloud that clear connection of who we really are. My goal is to guide athletes to a place where they get to know who they are as a human, but also who they are as a soul because that’s where many inner resolutions happen. After all, everyone just wants to feel love, acceptance, peace, and happiness. It’s as simple as that.

I really could go on and on about this topic, but instead, it’s probably easier to chat one-on-one so email me at misty @ faithlovejourney . com if you’re interested in having a conversation or learning more about teaming up with me as your mental health coach.