Losing in sports can quickly become a mental burden and a distraction if you don’t make a conscious choice to manage it. The disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt that accompany defeat can easily bring down even the most optimistic of athletes. Similarly, if you feel like you’re not performing at your best during a game, or like you’re just “off,” it can be maddening to try to get back on track. Or, if your team isn’t having a great season, it may feel like your hard work isn’t paying off.
Staying positive in the face of defeat and poor performance is not only essential for maintaining a healthy mindset, but it also plays a crucial role in future success.
Setbacks are a natural part of any sports journey. Every athlete, no matter how talented, will experience losses throughout their career. It is how you choose to respond to these setbacks that will ultimately determine your long-term success.
So, how do you stay positive when losing in sports? It starts with adopting a growth mindset and understanding that failure is simply a stepping stone to improvement.
Staying positive during challenging moments in sports requires a combination of mental and emotional strategies. First and foremost, know that you may not be able to single-handedly change the momentum of the game, but you can change the momentum of your mindset and then your performance will follow.
Instead of dwelling on the score or the mistakes made, shift your attention to the current moment. Concentrate on executing each play to the best of your ability.
By staying fully engaged in the present, you can let go of past errors and remain focused on performing to your greatest ability. However, don’t try to force yourself to score or make a play because that can actually work against you. (Yes, trying too hard is a thing and it can be problematic.)
As George Mumford once famously told Kobe Bryant, “The best way to score is to try not to score.”
Take a few deep breaths to break away from the past. Shake it off and get back in the present moment. Focus less on trying to force your performance and more on trusting your instincts to let it flow just like you would in practice.
Try to break the game up into smaller goals that feel more manageable. Instead of solely focusing on closing the score gap, concentrate on winning individual plays or executing specific strategies. Achieving these smaller goals will help you build momentum and increase your confidence as the game progresses.
Embrace positive self-talk. Shut down negative thoughts, sometimes referred to as the negative committee or as I like to refer to them, your hater thoughts. Use positive affirmations and self-talk to boost your confidence and motivation.
Remind yourself of your capabilities, strengths, and past successes. Replace negative thoughts with empowering statements such as “I can make a difference,” “I have the skills to contribute,” or “I am resilient and can overcome challenges.”
As you repeat these thoughts, bring to mind times when you achieved something great, or had an outstanding performance. Connect with that feeling and vision as you say your affirmations.
Recognize and accept your emotions. Don’t let your emotions take you out of the game by getting in your head and your body. Negative emotions can build up and before you know it become prolonged negative reactions that impact your game. While some athletes respond well under pressure or when they are angry, some athletes become completely distracted by their thoughts and feelings.
What you want to do instead is acknowledge and accept the emotions you’re experiencing, whether it’s frustration, disappointment, or even anger. It’s normal to feel these emotions, but it’s important not to let them overpower you. Remember that emotions are temporary, so you can choose to let them go even during a tough game.
Practice emotional regulation techniques. Develop strategies to regulate and channel your emotions constructively.
Deep breathing exercises can help calm your mind and body, providing a sense of control and grounding. Take slow, deep breaths and focus on exhaling slowly to release tension. Focus on releasing the tension from wherever you’re feeling it in your body can be helpful to allow your body to loosen up during tense games.
Additionally, engaging in physical movements during breaks, such as stretching, can help release pent-up emotions and boost your overall well-being.
If your frustration or anger is because you feel like you’re losing due to mentally or physically replaying mistakes, the simplest thing you can do is decide to tell yourself a new story.
There’s a saying that what you give your attention to grows. So, instead of thinking about the mistake, imagine a new story. Here are some ways you can do that:
Teamwork and support are essential in overcoming losses and maintaining a positive mindset. When you face setbacks, the support of your teammates can provide you with the encouragement and motivation needed to bounce back.
Teammates can offer a different perspective, help you find silver linings, and remind you of your progress and potential. Additionally, teammates can provide emotional support, helping you navigate the ups and downs of your sport. Most athletes will tell you it’s why the camaraderie of being on a team is so special and so hard to replace once your playing days are over. You’re surrounded by peers who get you and can help lift you up.
Coaches and mentors also play a critical role in providing support and guidance. Their belief in your abilities and their encouragement can help you maintain and improve your positivity and resilience. Seek out mentors who you trust and who you vibe with. It might be a former coach, a former teammate, or a family member.
Sometimes no matter what you do, you have a bad game, you lose the game, or you’re on a losing streak. Positivity has the power to transform losses into opportunities for growth and improvement. But it’s not just about saying things are great when they aren’t. The transformation happens when you have the ability to stop thinking about the past and the future and focus on your next best play. (See more here: How to bounce back after a loss.)
Nick Saban had a saying in The Process that he famously coined. “Ignore the scoreboards, don’t worry about winning. Just focus on doing your job, at the highest level. Every single play. Wins will follow.” I think that’s a great way of not getting lost in the scoreboard or stats. It’s very similar to what George said to Kobe.
So, get back into the present moment and focus on doing what you know how to do. Get into a growth mindset where anything is possible, but again, it’s not about the past or the outcomes. It’s not about the last game or future games. It’s about the possibility of what can happen when you focus on making the next best play.
Of course, reflection is important, too. When you do lose, ask yourself questions like: What can I learn from this game? How can I use that to make progress in the next game?
Remember, losses are inevitable but so are wins.
In sports and in life, sometimes we all get stuck and need support. Working with a mindset coach or a mental performance coach can help you discover hindrances that may be holding you back.
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