Disciplined Rest and Repair for Mental Health

Taking breaks is so much more important than we often realize. It’s so easy to stay in a routine of constantly pushing to get through our routines. Most people I know, including myself, feel guilty for taking breaks because then you feel like you’re going to fall behind or let someone down or be called lazy. We’re taught to be disciplined and tough, but I want to introduce the idea of disciplined rest to complement your disciplined work.

The fittest people on the planet know that your body needs rest.

The concept of mental rest is still something that’s evolving as an accepted part of mental health and self care. However, the concept of physical rest is completely accepted when really the need for mental and physical rest are no different.

First, let’s examine physical rest. I’ll use weight training as an example because it’s what I am most familiar with. If you talk to any athlete, body builder or even just your local gym rat, they’ll tell you that if you want results, your body needs rest. When you lift weights and you’re sore the next day, it’s because the action of lifting weights has caused microscopic tears in your muscles therefore putting them in a state of repair. To help your muscles out during this period of rebuilding and growth, you have to do a few things such as get proper nutrition, hydration, and rest. If you never let your muscles rest, they can’t optimally heal and grow. Plus, you’re risking injury because your body hasn’t had time to repair back to 100%.

To put it another way, not resting your body is like getting an air leak in your car tire and driving around without ever fixing it. Your car won’t perform well, it’ll take forever to get anywhere, and eventually, you’ll make it worse until the car won’t move at all.

So if we understand this about our physical workouts, injuries, and even our cars, why don’t we accept rest and repair as a discipline in our mental health and overall health?

Setting my routine of disciplined rest.

Ironic as it may sound, rest is something that should be a part of your routine and something you are disciplined about.

Here’s how I came to this realization. Okay so I actually didn’t come to this realization in one epiphany, or two, or three, and well, you get where I’m going. I have been driven to the brink of my nerves being shot, burnt out, exhausted, and stressed with what felt like every fiber of my being multiple times. I decided that this was no way to live. I started to pay attention to why this was happening so often. Well, even though I physically do things for myself like exercising, I’m mentally always trying to keep up. I started to develop that habit when I began my business in 2008. The concept of “clocking out” became moot.

In one particular unsettling time late last year, I gave myself a three-day at-home retreat. I didn’t just need a break and to reset, I needed to get to the root of what was making me so stressed out and driving up my anxiety day in and day out. During this time, among other things, I learned (yet again) that the world will go on even if I take a break.

I also decided that I was too technologically connected. My marketing business involves a lot of social media work and time spent on the computer. While perusing social media and the Internet might seem like a way to relax for most people, in my brain, it turns on work mode. What this translates to is that my mind isn’t resting or relaxing and I burn out quickly essentially because I’m never “off.” So, I decided that I would take a break from both of these things during the  mornings and evenings. Those small breaks have done a lot to give my thoughts some space between work and periods of rest. Believe it or not, that routine does take discipline, but it’s something I’ve found that works well for me as a starting place to unwind. There are even days I go out for dinner and leave my phone at home so that I’m not tempted to be technologically connected. I also save my workouts for the end of the day because that is also how I begin to unwind from my day. It’s nothing that crazy when I actually think about it because it doesn’t take any more time in my day to do these things, but hey, it’s a start.

Tips to set your mental health rest routine.

• Give yourself permission to rest regularly and be disciplined about it. You’re not a machine… and even machines break!
• Make your rest enjoyable! The obvious place to start is to plan rest into your schedule, but then it feels like another task you have to accomplish. Your rest routine should help you relax and loosen up. So, instead, plan to do things that you enjoy. You’re more likely to keep up with it.
• Stop trying to be prove your worth by killing yourself all day, every day. Working hard and suffering are not meant to be in the same category for anything other than short bursts of time.
• Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is real, but you should fear missing yourself more.
• Stand up for yourself and claim your breaks. If you feel like you’re going to inconvenience someone with your rest, they’ll get over it because well, they’ll just have to.
• On that note, stop letting people take you for a ride on their crazy trains. There’s a difference in being supportive and in taking on responsibility for where someone else is in his or her life. Pay attention to the buttons they push so you’re better equipped to say, “no.”
• Remind yourself that you’re the only one who has to live your life and the people who depend on you want you to be at your best and need you to be at your best. That can’t happen if you’re constantly running on “E.” In keeping with the car theme that is emerging here, refuel and cool off your engine. Totally acceptable, people!
• Take note of the things you feel burnt out on and exhausted from. There might be a way to reframe some thinking habits around these parts of your life so that you give yourself an emotional break. 

Do you need help giving yourself permission to rest or figuring how to rest? Let’s chat about mental health coaching. Contact me here.