If you’ve ever done something outside of your comfort zone, you likely had some sort of inner dialogue around your confidence level. Moreover, if you’ve inner had insecurity battles and anxiety, you might know what it’s like to feel uncertainty on a regular basis.
There’s not a specific moment in my life that stands out about a time that I lacked confidence, but insecurities definitely sneak up on me, especially when I feel like I’m not doing enough or achieving anything. Basically, I learned that I try to exert control by keeping busy because it boosts my confidence and self-esteem. I don’t think that’s terribly uncommon with Type A or go-getter personalities who also deal with anxiety. Anxiety is in part a fear of not being in control, which pushes some people to stay busy doing many different things. And when they aren’t busy, they might feel unsafe. Personally, it’s an ego issue that I work on. I purposely take breaks to do nothing to allow that part of my ego to heal, and sometimes it’s hard both in the moment and also in the aftermath of regretting that I didn’t use my time wisely.
“I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”
Kobe Bryant
Developing a confident mindset is a discipline. It takes recognizing insecurities when they are occurring and then shifting your thoughts. Like Kobe said, “You don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.” In other words, you don’t give in, but rather you deal with it, shift your focus, and move forward.
Need a confidence boost? I developed this free toolkit with three of my most popular mindset tools to help you gain inner strength so you can conquer the day with the swag of a Hall of Famer.
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